A break in the rush...

snow 009, originally uploaded by PrincessEmily210.

Time slows down and I find myself in bed the past few days. I need a rest. I need a break. Unfortunately, I have found that even in a world without cell phones or visits, the break usually doesnt come unless you go thousands of miles away. I feel like one can never really be alone in this town- if not with another person, the ghosts of the past haunt me here and bring thoughts into my head and tears to my face.
I'm holding back.
I want to write things, but the fear takes over. That little girl inside of me who just wants to please everyone and have no animocity in her life stops me from saying what i really feel.
To sit down and pin point the things in your life bringing hatred in, and to realize that these are the exact things you feel you couldn't live without... The people you couldnt live without. I wonder where you begin in letting go. When can I just say "I have gone as far as I can with you, I have done all I can for you, but I have to go in order to grow..."?
I'm still learning the art of letting go. It's hard, and at times seems impossible. How do you take a person who has been so strongly a part of your life and just let them go completely? How do you handle that ajustment from a strong, active relationship to not even having them as a part of your life anymore? (this i have found is especially hard when there is love inolved, or big life experiences shared between you)

It all seems to be too much lately and I am finding how hard it is for me to stand up for myself.
The words just wont come when I try.