Overflowing at times...

My week was filled with moments of stress, sadness, jealousy, zen, sheer happiness, disbelief, and amazement. Looking back on it, I have found that the moments of sadness, stress, and jealousy were brought on because I was comparing myself to other people. Whether it was to the people in my class or to the people doing what I wish I could be doing, I did a lot of sitting around and thinking "Why can't I be doing that?" These moments were practically erased however, by the moments of sheer happiness- taking a midnight walk on the beach and laying in the sand looking at the stars. I kept asking how long it would take to swim across to Europe and how long it would take then to get to Germany. I realized that Brian really is a great friend who, no matter what, will always be there for me.

I took this week to kind of "get away from it all," but I ended up plunging into "it all" head first. And although it would have been nice to have really gotten a full week away at the beach with nothing but sunshine and laughter, I learned so much more this way...

Once I figure out how to post pictures on here my posts will be a lot better, I promise!

Wonders of the world...

Everyday someone travels to a new wonder of the world. People go to far away places to live, work, or play for any amount of time. It seems I am always hearing about someone doing something amazing or fantastic in a foreign land. Just a few days ago I heard from my friends Chris and Dave who are living in Melbourne, Australia and just returned from "Stop Polio" in Sudan and a suffari in Kenya. They met in Cambodia while doing emergency relief work. It seems as though these days everyone is going somewhere daring, exciting, far away, and foreign to them. I think of all of this and I wonder why it is that it has to be such a big deal that I am going to a beach that is a little over 2 hours away.

If I choose to be daring and skip my acupuncture apointment, leaving probably quite unprepared for any bumps along the way, I will leave tomorrow morning...
If I choose to live the safe path and go to my acupuncture apointment and make sure I have all the proper medications for an emergency situation, I will leave Tuesday night...

Either way, I am hoping it turns out to be the time of my life. (*I love the beach*)

"I hope you have the time of your life..."

Looking back on high school, I have many regrets. I regret not having more friends in my own class, not spending more time connecting with them. I regret not doing as many diverse activities and spreading my wings. I regret not having more fun. It's weird because I didn't see the end creaping up until it was right in my face this morning and I was putting on my cap and gown. High school is over and it really is an indescribeable thing.

Wish me luck on deciding on plans for next year... I'll need it.

Peace out, JC....

Harsh words, new beginning...

Call me weak. Tell me that I let people walk all over me. I dont mind. There was someone who was anonymously posting some harsh and hurtful words in my livejournal, so I have switched to this hoping that the things said about my posts here will be kind and encouraging and not deeply hurtful things from people who can't even sign their name.

I am finished with school and glad that it is over. Although I wasnt feeling as bad the last few weeks of classes, I was still feeling so overwhelmed and sick. I would have liked to have gone to class the last couple of weeks, but my teachers all told me it was pointless since I was so far behind. So I stayed in bed and finished all my work. Did my best and got some rest. And here I am- days from graduating!!
My parents are urging me to get a job this summer. I tried all of the places where I really wouldnt mind working- but no one is hiring. And as someone kindly pointed out- how can i go to work if i dont go to school? I guess since it is later in the day, and my worst time is mornings. And many other things. I just have to keep a positive attitude.

I have to run- but I will post more later.