Another angle...

rear view, originally uploaded by PrincessEmily210.

I appologize ahead of time for this- if it is no more than my whining, i'm sorry.
Lately I've felt out of myself. I haven't felt like i've been living- more like someone else living in my body and i'm just looking on. I can't bring myself to do things- havent been to school in a week, only worked a few times. But I feel so sick. I feel like i've lost that understanding of my limits dicipline (i really cant spell that word...). I feel like that Dave Mathews song "I drink too much, I eat too much, I want too much...." I wake up in the morning and get into my car with all intentions of going to class, but somehow I always seem to veer away from campus to do menial errands- post office, bank, pay check, hair dye... and i never quite end up accomplishing anything yet i fall asleep at 10 and wake up again at 8 the next day. this isnt me. i really dont understand what is going on inside of me. Like Sabrina wrote-- I feel like swiss cheese, what goes in the holes?
I can't see where to put my foot down next...
(college just feels so wrong right now.)
[i wish i could have finished my year off.]
***************************************

"Each day, and the living of it, has to be a conscious creation in which discipline and order are relieved with some play and pure foolishness."
*May Sarton*