Justification...

snow 008, originally uploaded by PrincessEmily210.

I wrote something a few weeks ago that began with "I don't want to be what everyone expects..." and later went into "i dont want to feel like i have to justify myself, but i dont want to be so easily understood. i dont want to be transparent."
And this seems to be one of my big goals- to stop justifying and explaining myself, stop getting defnsive and feeling attacked and just let it pass. if my actions are judged i must remember that, if they are indeed true actions or descisions i have made, I did them, I made those decisions. In doing so, I also have to remember when making decisions to be more careful and think "is this really something that is true to me- to my being, my soul, and my purpose and path?" most of the time the answer is yes, but there are those certain instances when i have to step away from myself and say "what was i thinking????"
I think a lot of the problems I have had with being judged have stemed from my not being able to admit my hypocricies. so here i go, taking a leap and listing just a few...
*i am very health conscious- vegan and organic foods as well as many other natural remedies rather than chemicals... but in my past i have smoked, gone taning, and drank- all unnecessary chemicals entering the body and leaving nothing but destruction.
*i always expect the honest truth from others, no withholding... but i have trouble figuring out how to fit in those things that are hard (but necessary) to say.
*i believe strongly in self-love and the importance of loving yourself before loving others... but all i ever want is to be loved by someone else.


i am acknowledging my downfalls and trying for self-imporvement. i can see the steps in front of me... im on the right path.
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this is an amazing delight!