Everyone has an opinion. Everyone has something to say- another way to tell me what they think I should be doing, who they think I should be.
This is my year off. This is supposed to be my time for me- to figure out what I want with my life and to see where it is going. I don't fully understand why everyone wants to tell me that I am veering in the wrong direction. I really don't think I can stand another one of my "friends" telling me how I am losing control and sight of what is important. The year is only a month or so gone, I can't imagine the opinions that will pop up at the end.
You want to know what I have gotten out of my year so far? I got so much love out of it. Yes, I fell in love. I met people who broke my heart and made me want to get out of here. But those same people are making it so hard for me to leave. I also learned that I am not like everyone else. I can't go to a regular school and go to regular classes. I can't do that. So maybe I'm a loser because I can't even hack it at community college, and maybe I'm a loser for spending three days without sleep in someone's mom's basement. But you know what? This is me now. This is what I need. And I wish just one person would say "Okay, I understand. I love and support you and I know you will be just fine." Because if I hear "You are ruining your life" one more time I think I'm going to break.
Saturday, October 02, 2004
Influences...
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3 comments:
you're special, and don't let anyone else let you believe otherwise. i think everyone is acting like that around you because they are concerned for your wellbeing. however, i disagree when they say you are veering off in the wrong direction. just because that's their opinion, it does not mean they are right. different strokes for different folks, after all. i admire for making this year a "you" year, to find out who you are and what you want. it's difficult when you want to go your own way, but the society thinks the opposite. it takes a lot of guts. you go girl :o)
Emily, You sound like you are doing just fine to me. I followed the path that society told me was the right path to follow, 4 years in college and then into corporate america...and you know what, it sucks! It is really hard to do something different. Society brainwashes us into thinking that there is only one acceptable and responsible path. Don't be fooled. It is your life and you know what is best for you. Follow your heart. I'm almost 30 and I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. You have a long life ahead of you. Keep searching for what makes you happy. It is happiness that is most important, not a college degree or a job title. Good Luck! www.sarakaminski.com
I don't know you, but I can tell from your entries that you DO know what you're doing, and a big HOORAY to you for doing it, especially in the face of all the criticism. You're doing what you need to do, and whatever happens, I can tell that you're going to be better than fine - you're going to soar!! So carry on, and just ignore the nagging voices. You are a fabulous creature! Thanks for sharing your voice.
Gigi (a former Baltimore girl who now lives in London)
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