Wowzah!

the golden gate bridge, originally uploaded by PrincessEmily210.

What a week!!

My papa and I sat in the amazing Cafe Gratitude Friday evening sipping watermelon juice and chai tea and out of nowhere I said, "Papa, I think I'm supposed to be here. I thrive here. I'm happier these past two days than I have been in the entire year since I have been here. I thrive in this place." I saw in his eyes how much it hurt him to hear my say that- his baby doesnt always want to live within walking distance of him- but he was so supportive. The whole trip whenever I would say things like that, he would reply, "then make it happen."
I kept wondering the whole trip if I was just feeling this because it was vacation- because whenever anyone goes on vacation they never want to leave. I wondered if this was just me wanting to get out of Bel Air, Maryland. I wondered if I was just running away from it all. And I still wonder that. How do you ever know that you belong in one place? And really, does anyone belong in any one place? The world is so big- how could you spend your whole life in one town?

I did realize that I am ready to leave, even if I am just running away from things here- from lost love, broken friendships, memories of sickness, ordinary life- I just dont know how much longer I can stay here and keep making the same mistakes over and over. (and then I think- why should location have anything to do with my mistakes?)

WOW. My mind is running all around.

More to come when I get my *new* computer.