So much beauty...

I have put off posting for many reasons... One- I want to post something happy and summery, but I couldn't think of just the right thing. Two- I have been busy as heck and running around like a fool. Three- I am lazy.

The past week or so has been full of moments when there is so much pain for no good reason, I feel like I can't take it. I have been giving myself such a hard time because I feel like my summer isn't really a summer at all. I haven't been enjoying the good weather, getting outside and playing. I haven't spent much time just having fun with my friends. And the one vacation I have planned is only 3 days and 3 nights, 2 of which are occupied by a workshop.

But then I need to stop and look around- my life is full of so much beauty right now. I am blessed with this mini-vacation up to Maine where I will not only attend Sabrina Ward Harrison's workshop, but I will be her assistant. I am blessed to have such amazing friends that they understand that I am so busy and so overwhelmed that I just *can't* hang out right now.

I was driving home late at night last weekend and I was completely paralyzed by the organic beauty of the night. I was driving home from my sister's show, on the same road I took so many times coming home from a love's house. I could feel in my bones, I was aching to be able to go and see him, to be with him. I had on the most wonderful CD (thanks to Sara!) of Keri Noble and Regina Spektor. The way the street lights cast a pink fog over the old country road just made me so thankful- THANK YOU that I am here to experience this fully right now. Thank you for this moment.

And ever since that night, I have been filled with these moments of so much beauty. Going to the pool today with the kids next door, taking my sister home to Philadelphia and meeting the most amazing man in a middle eastern book store as well as meeting the most amazing woman who will do my tattoo in a month, reading books (White Oleander, Life is So Good) and watching movies (White Oleander, Life as a House) that make me realize the importance of my life and really dig inside of myself. I also have realized that waking up early, while it prevents me from staying up at night with friends, really invigorates me and helps me throughout the day.

I have been inspired lately and I have so many ideas for my life. Spending a summer out in San Francisco next year, maybe starting "real school" in the winter rather than next fall, learning to cook!, taking Italian and going to Tuscany for three weeks around Christmas, beach adventures...

I am so hopeful.

:-D

(I also got a new digital camera and a neat lil' ol' fully manual camera! YAAAY!)