ARGH!

Why am I constantly comparing myself to other people? I know that I just made a post about this, but it is such a huge factor in my life right now. I think I should take a break from reading weblogs for a little bit. It is very comforting and inspiring but at the same time it makes me feel so down on myself. I end up reading them and getting so much out of it, but also coming away from it so incredibly frustrated, feeling like "WHY can't I be living life like that now?" I know, I must have patience and things will come to me, things will happen when they are meant to happen. But it is just so frustrating.

At the beginning of my jewelry class yesterday, we all laid out the pieces we made for homework and I wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. I kept saying to myself over and over "my pieces aren't as creative as the other women" and "my pieces look too much like Andrea's jewelry or the jewelry I saw in the mall yesterday" and I did the same thing with my sketch book... When will I stop this and accept that I am not mimicking other people's work and I am doing things really creatively. And when will I learn to stop comparing myself to other women?

(I should really make a note of saying that I did get extreme inspiration from Andrea's entry to really go start making my jewelry homework. And also I realized that I shouldn't always expect people to be sending me letters in return. Especially people like Justin far far away in Germany. I also need to stop expecting that one day I will go to San Francisco [or another city] and sit with any one of these women and she will spill out all the answers to all the questions I have. Life doesn't work that way, and even if it did, I need to live my way into the answers like in letters to a young poet. Isn't life just funny sometimes? )